Kick Ass List

Immediately after finishing the seventh book to my sibs, my youngest brother and I decided to make a list of all the characters who kicked ass.  No, really, all the characters in the seventh book who kicked ass.  It was quite fun and interesting.  There is also an Anti-Kickass List, but we'll save that for a later post.

WARNING: THIS LIST WILL CONTAIN MAJOR SPOILERS!  READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!  Also, this is going to be very long...

Name
Reason For Being On The List
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Severus Snape
Severus Snape Kicks Ass.

"Look...at...me..." (658).
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Aberforth Dumbledore
...because he kicks so much more ass than Albus, and because he punched Albus in the nose [effectively breaking it] and because he was just trying to sleep but people kept storming through his pub!  XD

"Brains like that, you could be a Death Eater, son" (560).
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Albus Dumbledore
...because Albus Dumbledore Used To Kick Ass and because he still kinda does, I suppose. =P

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" (723).
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Arthur Weasley
...because he's so mellow that when he gets ticked off, you'd better clear out if you know what's good for you.  Go Mr. Weasley with that Daddy-esque personality ^__^.

"Is that a threat, Runcorn?" (256).
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Molly Weasley
...because her infamous line will go down in Harry Potter History forever.  Also, for taking care of the one character who could possibly think of banging Voldemort [read: Bellatrix].

"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!" (736).
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William Arthur (Bill) Weasley
...because Harry's first impression of Bill was simply "cool", and because he marries a half-veela and because he pwns.  Also, he warned Harry about goblins.

"All I'm saying...is to be very careful what you promise goblins, Harry" (517).
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Charles Weasley
...because he's a Weasley and is bound to have some kick-ass properties by default.  And because he's in Romania studying dragons  XD

"...and Harry saw Charlie Weasley...[who] seemed to have returned at the head of what looked like all the families and friends of every Hogwarts student who had remained to fight, along with the shopkeepers and homeowners of Hogsmeade" (734).
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Percy Weasley
...because his resignation was the shit.  Also because he's a Weasley [see above].  Additionally, he finally did make a joke and because he tried to protect Fred's body and he cried and he came back.

"I'm sorry, Dad" (606).
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Fred & George Weasley
...*sighs*  Where to start?  Fred & George Weasley Kick Ass, I think we can all agree on that point.  Let's see...because George had his ear blown off and laughed about it, making horrible jokes and generally, being George.  And he's totally a saint.

...because Fred wanted to be Rapier not Rodent and because he knows Voldie can move faster than Snape when contended with shampoo and because the veela cousins permettez-ed him to assistez- them.  XD  And of course, because Fred died.

And when they transformed into Harry, they both turned to each other and exclaimed, "Wow- we're identical!" (51).

Fred & George Love! <3
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Ronald Billius Weasley
...because he gave Harry that excellent book for his birthday and noted that charming witches was more than just "wandwork" (and we all knew which kind of wand he meant).  Also because he destroyed a Horcrux, overcame his fears, cried, came back, got the Sword, and saved Harry's emo ass.

Additionally, Ron is amazing, is in love with Hermione, worries about the House Elves and wants to kill Death Eaters for killing his brother [see above].

Also, for shouting for Hermione when she was being tortured and helping Harry try to stop Pettigrew [the bastard] from strangling himself and for helping dig Dobby's grave and for swearing at the top of his lungs when they rode the dragon out of Gringotts and for knowing to get the basilisk fangs and for attempting [and succeeding!] at speaking Parseltongue.

And, of course, "Don't let it worry you...It's me. I'm extremely famous" (759).
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Hermione Jane Granger
...because of her freakin' amazing beaded bag!  And because she shoved it down her sock and because she was tortured and held her tongue and because she's always cared about house elves and non-wizard beings and because she doesn't want to double-cross Griphook [another bastard] and because she researched Horcruxes and because even though Ron walked out, she stayed and fought with Harry because it was what she promised and because she tried to beat the crap out of Ron and hadn't ruled out the birds and because she got them out of the mess Xenophillius [semi-bastard] started for them and she knew it was an Erumpent horn.  >:D

Also, because Hermione likes to read as much as I do and because she doesn't care what other people think and she's not very into how she looks and because she's brave and helps fight the snake and destroys a Horcrux and because she finally makes out with Ron and she always knew about Kreacher and because she knows Harry tastes better than Crabbe or Goyle XD

Furthermore, because after six years, she got to yell at Ron, demanding to know:

"Are you a wizard, or what?" (651).
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Neville Longbottom
...because he has turned full circle and doesn't mind getting beat up if it means boosting morale and because he's a leader and steps up when he knows people need him.  Also, he becomes a Professor [of course].

And because he pwned Nagini's face [literally!].

"I'll join you when hell freezes over...Dumbledore's Army!" (731).
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Luna Lovegood
...because she danced by herself at the wedding and got kidnapped on her way home for Christmas and never once complained about anything.  And because she recognized Harry even under his disguise based off his expression but mostly because of her touching paintings.

"No, it was definitely a Snorkack horn...Daddy told me" (512).
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Kingsley Shacklebolt
...because of his deep, measured, reassuring voice, and because he would pwn as Minister of Magic.

Taking on the Big Bad is also cause for points.

"...and that Kingsley Shacklebolt had been named temporary Minister of Magic" (745).
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Remus John Lupin
...because he's a werewolf and has had to contend with that fact his entire life and because he's one of the kindest men in the books.

Because he marries Nymphadora and after a spot of persuasion, stays with her and the baby and is happy and would have been an absolutely perfect father, and because his fatherhood was so short-lived.

"It's a boy!" (514).
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Nymphadora Tonks
...because even though she's just had a baby, she runs after her husband who's in danger and helps and dies with him, and because after nine months of being pregnant, she finally has her son and because her motherhood was so short-lived.

And because she's just plain cool, and turns her hair hot pink! ^^

"I couldn't stand not knowing- ...have you seen Remus?" (624).
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Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody
...because he's so strict and so knowledgeable about the Dark Arts without being a nutter like Crouch about it.

...because he's always about safety first and because he elected to have the bastard Mundungus on his broom and thus, automatically jeopardized his own life the most.

...because he was always the most skilled auror and his eye is freakin' awesome [if a bit freaky, period], and because he died doing what he does.

"Constant Vigilance!"
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Rubeus Hagrid
...because he threw that ridiculous "Support Harry Potter Party" in his hut and because he never gave up on Grawp and because he jumped off his motorcycle and tackled the death eater just to protect Harry.

"...the last time yeh was on it, Harry, I could fit yeh in one hand!" (54).
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Grawp
...because he's learning to talk and because he threw Hagrid into a window and because he took on full-sized giants [two at a time!] more than once.

"HAGGER!" (648).
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Minerva McGonagall
...because she's dignity under pressure all the time and because Amycus spit in her face and because she took immediate actions and lead the charge of desks and suits of armor and her wonderfully dry sense of humor, and because she dueled Voldemort.

...and because despite her being the strictest of teachers and so upright and stern, Harry is moved to an Unforgivable Curse on her behalf.

"I think so...we teachers are rather good at magic, you know" (595).
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Filius Flitwick
...because he helps secure the castle and is pretty awesome for such a little guy.  Also, he's a professor, so cool by default.

"No!...You'll do no more murder at Hogwarts!" (599).
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Pomona Sprout
...because she backs up McGonagall and wanted to have the school open even if just one student were to attend.  Additionally, she's very down to earth [pun totally intended] and wastes no time in getting her defenses together.

She, too, is a professor [see above].

"Tentacula.  Devil's Snare.  And Snargaluff pods...yes, I'd like to see the Death Eaters fighting those" (600).
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Horace Slughorn
...because even though he's a fat little lazy queerbo, he does come through, and gets down to business.  Oh, and he did take on Voldie, too, so props for that.  Professorhood adds to his meager supply of reasons.

"My word...What a to-do!" (601).
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Sybill Trelawney
...because she breaks a crystal ball over Fenrir Greyback's head and would have a good tennis serve. =P Also, Professorship.

"I have more!" (646).
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Firenze
...because he's an outcast from his clans simply because he's doing the right thing [or at least, following his intuition, which turns out to be the right thing anyways].  And because he got injured in the fight, and that's valiant.  And again, Professorship.

"Firenze was amongst the injured; his flank poured blood and he shook where he lay, unable to stand" (661).
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Dobby
...because he's always, always tried to save Harry and because he once punched Kreacher for insulting Harry and because he tracked down Draco once, without sleeping for days on end, and because he was so brave to go against his old masters, in their own house, to rescue Harry and the others.

...and because it finally cost him his life.

"Dobby has no master! ...Dobby is a free elf, and Dobby has come to save Harry Potter and his friends!" (474).
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Kreacher
...because he really wasn't all bad the entire time, and because he freakin' beat Mudungus over the head with a frying pan he could barely carry!  XD

...because he's had to carry around the painful memories all this time and because he turned out to be such an asset and because he rallied all the Hogwarts elves ^__^

"Perhaps just one more, Master Harry, for luck?" (221).
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Hogwarts House Elves
...because the little midgets have banded together and wield kitchen knives!

"The house-elves of Hogwarts swarmed into the entrance hall, screaming and waving carving knives and cleavers..." (734).
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Phineas Nigellus
...because that arrogantly superior attitude, the snide remarks, and the Slytherin pride are actually quite endearing, and because he's just Phineas and didn't believe Sirius had died without due proof and because he helped the awesomeness that is Severus Snape.

"Your tone displeases me!  ...I grow weary of contradiction...and after the treatment I have received at your hands, I can assure you that I shall not be making a return visit!" (302, 303).
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Muriel Weasley
...because she's blinkin' a hundred and seven!  XDD  And because she's one of a pair of ass-kicking grannies!  Plus, she has an opinion about everything, she's a woman who knows what she's all about.

"You there! Give me your chair, I'm a hundred and seven!" (153).
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Augusta Longbottom
...because there's hardly a cooler grandmother around, now, is there?  Without a second thought, she goes and assists in the fight and is finally unbelievably proud of Neville [and rightly so! See Neville Longbottom] and she's the second older witch to kick mucho ass.

Plus...

"'Little old witch living alone, they probably thought they didn't need to send anyone particularly powerful...Dawlish is still in St. Mungo's and Gran's on the run'" (Neville, 576).
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Peeves
...just a few words...

"We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter's the one,
And Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!" (746).
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Harry James Potter
...because of the sorcerer's stone, the chamber of secrets, the prisoner of azkaban, the goblet of fire, the order of the phoenix, the half-blood prince and the deathly hallows.

...because without Harry James Potter, we would not have had 10 wonderful years of epic adventure and timeless literature.

"Does it hurt?" (699).
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Quote of the Day:
"I just really want to fall in love with an idea again, and go with that." --JK Rowling, on after Harry Potter