Serendipitous Scribbles

Some Days...

2008-01-13T18:26:00.001-06:00

Wow...it's been a while since my last post...mostly cuz my host was down and I didn't want to post anything to a non-layouted blog. T_T I know, I'm weird. But anyhow, I felt like posting today.

It happens to be my 19th birthday today, w00t! Also, I'm looking to have a host for my site, so if anyone [which is no one since no one reads this T_T] knows anyone who's willing to host a sistah, well...hit me up. =P

College and work both start for me on Monday...oh joy. T_T What a lovely [not] birthday present. Overall, the day's been good. =) Umm...not much more to say...I had a ton of things but have mostly forgotten them all.

For the quote of the day, I did a rough translation that tried to capture the poetry of the original. =)

Quote of the Day:

"Jo kahii ga'ii na mujhse,
voh zamaanaa kah rahaa hai...
ki fasaanaa-
ki fasaanaa ban ga'ii hai."

"The words I couldn't say, the times are telling me...those words have become a story." --from the song "Chalte Chalte", of the movie Pakeezah

Some Days...

2008-01-13T18:26:00.000-06:00

Wow...it's been a while since my last post...mostly cuz my host was down and I didn't want to post anything to a non-layouted blog. T_T &nsbp;I know, I'm weird. &nsbp;But anyhow, I felt like posting today.

It happens to be my 19th birthday today, w00t! Also, I'm looking to have a host for my site, so if anyone [which is no one since no one reads this T_T] knows anyone who's willing to host a sistah, well...hit me up. =P

College and work both start for me on Monday...oh joy. T_T What a lovely [not] birthday present. Overall, the day's been good. =) Umm...not much more to say...I had a ton of things but have mostly forgotten them all.

For the quote of the day, I did a rough translation that tried to capture the poetry of the original. =)

Quote of the Day:

"Jo kahii ga'ii na mujhse,
voh zamaanaa kah rahaa hai...
ki fasaanaa-
ki fasaanaa ban ga'ii hai."

The words I couldn't say, the times are telling me...those words have become a story." --from the song "Chalte Chalte", of the movie Pakeezah

Picky Little Me

2007-09-11T21:31:00.001-05:00

I do not really like my life right now. ='(

Quote of the Day:

"Once we recognize that thoughts are empty, the mind will no longer have the power to deceive us." --Khyetse Rinpoche

Right Feelings

2007-08-31T14:53:00.001-05:00

This- this is the feeling I associate with summertime. This peace beyond bliss. It is amazing. The weather is beyond description in its serenity and heavenliness. I feel light and at ease.

There's no "one" thing that leads to this but I will say that it's been a long time in coming! Still, can't complain. School is going fairly awesomely. Everything else is chugging along. My bank account is pretty upset with me lol, but hey- what can I say? Stuff happens. o_o

Yup- that's all I wanted to say. ^__^ Hope all of you are doing at least half as well as I am =P

I have learned that in order to find happiness, you cannot chase happiness itself. It is a byproduct of rightness. Chase the right choices, strive to reach them and you will find happiness somewhere along the way.

Quote of the Day:

"There is nothing else. But this is everything!" --Lestat, from Anne Rice's Interview With The Vampire

College

2007-08-22T22:42:00.001-05:00

Had my first day of classes today, and it started off quite well. Got there an hour early to give myself time and just to chill. My first class (Math 1218) is really full and stuff but that's okay it's math. XD I had no trouble finding that one, even had a half hour left over and grabbed a hot chocolate (haven't had that in a while).

Next class was Speech 1100, and that was all the way over in blinkin' building M, which is like a bajillion miles away if you're walking, which I was. T_T But no matter, my feet are kinda crying (wrong shoes -_-'), but they will be fine.

Afterwards, I hit the library (FINALLY! I was going into withdrawal symptoms! >< !) Got myself two books and ordered two more that weren't there. Best of all, as I was waiting for my ride, and reading, someone tapped me on the shoulder and it was MY BEST FRIEND FROM GRADE SCHOOL!

Well, it's not as amazing as it sounds since she was with me through all four years of high school, too, but it feels great knowing we've known each other since we were so widdle! ^__^ We both initially had plans to attend different universities but somehow ended up at our current college (of dreams XDD lil inside joke there).

Anyhow, it was great. =) Afterwards, I went around car shopping for a bit and drove (shh, no permit or license! &nsbp;XD &nsbp;I'm a good driver though, no worries. Inshallah that car dealy will work itself out...I really need it to. O.o)

The quote of the day for today is from one of books I checked out (which is full of awesome quotage, by the way.) I checked it out towards the end of my senior year but didn't get more than...ugh, I don't even remember the first page. I think it was too close to the end of the year and I had to return it. x_o Oh, well, so far it's a good read. =) For the benefit of semi-back story, I'll type out the extended quote.

Quote of the Day:

"And I would see her...before me, a shimmering, precious creature soon to grow old, soon to die, soon to lose these moments that in their intangiblity promised to us, wrongly...wrongly, an immortality. As if it were our birthright, which we could not come to grasp the meaning of until this time of middle life when we looked on only as many years ahead as already lay behind us. When every moment, every moment must be first known and then savored." --Louis, from Anne Rice's, Interview With The Vampire

Food For Thought

2007-08-01T17:52:00.001-05:00

I have so much on my plate I wonder where it all goes. I have to start college in less than a week. I need a job. I need a car. I need a license to drive said car to college. I have no transportation currently to my educational institute. I need a job. I haven't heard back from the places I applied to yet >< I have no credit. I am extremely stressed out.

-breathes-

I am going to make a To-Do List. Then I will systematically attempt to get everything on it, done. Or most of it at least. I will further look at more job options. And pray, gotta do a lot of that still.

You all can pray for me too.

Additionally, I haven't been able to update in so long because my ftp won't connect! >< It's really starting to piss me off, maybe I'll just shove Filezilla down a toilet and flush it into oblivion.

Apparently, being the primitive idiot that I am, I accidentally wrote this post OVER my previous post which was titled, "Buddy Lists" Windows Live Writer is pissing me off, as it doesn't have the template feature that Blogger does, but being the supremely lazy being that I incidentally enough, also am, I am probably going to continue using it because it means I don't have to log in to Blogger for every post- even though as soon as I'm done posting, I'll probably log into it anyways and try to fix it up to my liking. >.<

Quote of the Day:

"The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes- ah, that is where the art resides." --Artur Schnabel

Kick Ass List

2007-07-29T15:53:00.000-05:00

Immediately after finishing the seventh book to my sibs, my youngest brother and I decided to make a list of all the characters who kicked ass. No, really, all the characters in the seventh book who kicked ass. It was quite fun and interesting. There is also an Anti-Kickass List, but we'll save that for a later post.

WARNING: THIS LIST WILL CONTAIN MAJOR SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! Also, this is going to be very long...

Name
Reason For Being On The List
-----

Severus Snape
Severus Snape Kicks Ass.

"Look...at...me..." (658).
-----

Aberforth Dumbledore
...because he kicks so much more ass than Albus, and because he punched Albus in the nose [effectively breaking it] and because he was just trying to sleep but people kept storming through his pub! XD

"Brains like that, you could be a Death Eater, son" (560).
-----

Albus Dumbledore
...because Albus Dumbledore Used To Kick Ass and because he still kinda does, I suppose. =P

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" (723).
-----

Arthur Weasley
...because he's so mellow that when he gets ticked off, you'd better clear out if you know what's good for you. Go Mr. Weasley with that Daddy-esque personality ^__^.

"Is that a threat, Runcorn?" (256).
-----

Molly Weasley
...because her infamous line will go down in Harry Potter History forever. Also, for taking care of the one character who could possibly think of banging Voldemort [read: Bellatrix].

"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!" (736).
-----

William Arthur (Bill) Weasley
...because Harry's first impression of Bill was simply "cool", and because he marries a half-veela and because he pwns. Also, he warned Harry about goblins.

"All I'm saying...is to be very careful what you promise goblins, Harry" (517).
-----

Charles Weasley
...because he's a Weasley and is bound to have some kick-ass properties by default. And because he's in Romania studying dragons XD

"...and Harry saw Charlie Weasley...[who] seemed to have returned at the head of what looked like all the families and friends of every Hogwarts student who had remained to fight, along with the shopkeepers and homeowners of Hogsmeade" (734).
-----

Percy Weasley
...because his resignation was the shit. Also because he's a Weasley [see above]. Additionally, he finally did make a joke and because he tried to protect Fred's body and he cried and he came back.

"I'm sorry, Dad" (606).
-----

Fred & George Weasley
...*sighs* Where to start? Fred & George Weasley Kick Ass, I think we can all agree on that point. Let's see...because George had his ear blown off and laughed about it, making horrible jokes and generally, being George. And he's totally a saint.

...because Fred wanted to be Rapier not Rodent and because he knows Voldie can move faster than Snape when contended with shampoo and because the veela cousins permettez-ed him to assistez- them. XD And of course, because Fred died.

And when they transformed into Harry, they both turned to each other and exclaimed, "Wow- we're identical!" (51).

Fred & George Love! <3
-----

Ronald Billius Weasley
...because he gave Harry that excellent book for his birthday and noted that charming witches was more than just "wandwork" (and we all knew which kind of wand he meant). Also because he destroyed a Horcrux, overcame his fears, cried, came back, got the Sword, and saved Harry's emo ass.

Additionally, Ron is amazing, is in love with Hermione, worries about the House Elves and wants to kill Death Eaters for killing his brother [see above].

Also, for shouting for Hermione when she was being tortured and helping Harry try to stop Pettigrew [the bastard] from strangling himself and for helping dig Dobby's grave and for swearing at the top of his lungs when they rode the dragon out of Gringotts and for knowing to get the basilisk fangs and for attempting [and succeeding!] at speaking Parseltongue.

And, of course, "Don't let it worry you...It's me. I'm extremely famous" (759).
-----

Hermione Jane Granger
...because of her freakin' amazing beaded bag! And because she shoved it down her sock and because she was tortured and held her tongue and because she's always cared about house elves and non-wizard beings and because she doesn't want to double-cross Griphook [another bastard] and because she researched Horcruxes and because even though Ron walked out, she stayed and fought with Harry because it was what she promised and because she tried to beat the crap out of Ron and hadn't ruled out the birds and because she got them out of the mess Xenophillius [semi-bastard] started for them and she knew it was an Erumpent horn. >:D

Also, because Hermione likes to read as much as I do and because she doesn't care what other people think and she's not very into how she looks and because she's brave and helps fight the snake and destroys a Horcrux and because she finally makes out with Ron and she always knew about Kreacher and because she knows Harry tastes better than Crabbe or Goyle XD

Furthermore, because after six years, she got to yell at Ron, demanding to know:

"Are you a wizard, or what?" (651).
-----

Neville Longbottom
...because he has turned full circle and doesn't mind getting beat up if it means boosting morale and because he's a leader and steps up when he knows people need him. Also, he becomes a Professor [of course].

And because he pwned Nagini's face [literally!].

"I'll join you when hell freezes over...Dumbledore's Army!" (731).
-----

Luna Lovegood
...because she danced by herself at the wedding and got kidnapped on her way home for Christmas and never once complained about anything. And because she recognized Harry even under his disguise based off his expression but mostly because of her touching paintings.

"No, it was definitely a Snorkack horn...Daddy told me" (512).
-----

Kingsley Shacklebolt
...because of his deep, measured, reassuring voice, and because he would pwn as Minister of Magic.

Taking on the Big Bad is also cause for points.

"...and that Kingsley Shacklebolt had been named temporary Minister of Magic" (745).
-----

Remus John Lupin
...because he's a werewolf and has had to contend with that fact his entire life and because he's one of the kindest men in the books.

Because he marries Nymphadora and after a spot of persuasion, stays with her and the baby and is happy and would have been an absolutely perfect father, and because his fatherhood was so short-lived.

"It's a boy!" (514).
-----

Nymphadora Tonks
...because even though she's just had a baby, she runs after her husband who's in danger and helps and dies with him, and because after nine months of being pregnant, she finally has her son and because her motherhood was so short-lived.

And because she's just plain cool, and turns her hair hot pink! ^^

"I couldn't stand not knowing- ...have you seen Remus?" (624).
-----

Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody
...because he's so strict and so knowledgeable about the Dark Arts without being a nutter like Crouch about it.

...because he's always about safety first and because he elected to have the bastard Mundungus on his broom and thus, automatically jeopardized his own life the most.

...because he was always the most skilled auror and his eye is freakin' awesome [if a bit freaky, period], and because he died doing what he does.

"Constant Vigilance!"
-----

Rubeus Hagrid
...because he threw that ridiculous "Support Harry Potter Party" in his hut and because he never gave up on Grawp and because he jumped off his motorcycle and tackled the death eater just to protect Harry.

"...the last time yeh was on it, Harry, I could fit yeh in one hand!" (54).
-----

Grawp
...because he's learning to talk and because he threw Hagrid into a window and because he took on full-sized giants [two at a time!] more than once.

"HAGGER!" (648).
-----

Minerva McGonagall
...because she's dignity under pressure all the time and because Amycus spit in her face and because she took immediate actions and lead the charge of desks and suits of armor and her wonderfully dry sense of humor, and because she dueled Voldemort.

...and because despite her being the strictest of teachers and so upright and stern, Harry is moved to an Unforgivable Curse on her behalf.

"I think so...we teachers are rather good at magic, you know" (595).
-----

Filius Flitwick
...because he helps secure the castle and is pretty awesome for such a little guy. Also, he's a professor, so cool by default.

"No!...You'll do no more murder at Hogwarts!" (599).
-----

Pomona Sprout
...because she backs up McGonagall and wanted to have the school open even if just one student were to attend. Additionally, she's very down to earth [pun totally intended] and wastes no time in getting her defenses together.

She, too, is a professor [see above].

"Tentacula. Devil's Snare. And Snargaluff pods...yes, I'd like to see the Death Eaters fighting those" (600).
-----

Horace Slughorn
...because even though he's a fat little lazy queerbo, he does come through, and gets down to business. Oh, and he did take on Voldie, too, so props for that. Professorhood adds to his meager supply of reasons.

"My word...What a to-do!" (601).
-----

Sybill Trelawney
...because she breaks a crystal ball over Fenrir Greyback's head and would have a good tennis serve. =P Also, Professorship.

"I have more!" (646).
-----

Firenze
...because he's an outcast from his clans simply because he's doing the right thing [or at least, following his intuition, which turns out to be the right thing anyways]. And because he got injured in the fight, and that's valiant. And again, Professorship.

"Firenze was amongst the injured; his flank poured blood and he shook where he lay, unable to stand" (661).
-----

Dobby
...because he's always, always tried to save Harry and because he once punched Kreacher for insulting Harry and because he tracked down Draco once, without sleeping for days on end, and because he was so brave to go against his old masters, in their own house, to rescue Harry and the others.

...and because it finally cost him his life.

"Dobby has no master! ...Dobby is a free elf, and Dobby has come to save Harry Potter and his friends!" (474).
-----

Kreacher
...because he really wasn't all bad the entire time, and because he freakin' beat Mudungus over the head with a frying pan he could barely carry! XD

...because he's had to carry around the painful memories all this time and because he turned out to be such an asset and because he rallied all the Hogwarts elves ^__^

"Perhaps just one more, Master Harry, for luck?" (221).
-----

Hogwarts House Elves
...because the little midgets have banded together and wield kitchen knives!

"The house-elves of Hogwarts swarmed into the entrance hall, screaming and waving carving knives and cleavers..." (734).
-----

Phineas Nigellus
...because that arrogantly superior attitude, the snide remarks, and the Slytherin pride are actually quite endearing, and because he's just Phineas and didn't believe Sirius had died without due proof and because he helped the awesomeness that is Severus Snape.

"Your tone displeases me! ...I grow weary of contradiction...and after the treatment I have received at your hands, I can assure you that I shall not be making a return visit!" (302, 303).
-----

Muriel Weasley
...because she's blinkin' a hundred and seven! XDD And because she's one of a pair of ass-kicking grannies! Plus, she has an opinion about everything, she's a woman who knows what she's all about.

"You there! Give me your chair, I'm a hundred and seven!" (153).
-----

Augusta Longbottom
...because there's hardly a cooler grandmother around, now, is there? Without a second thought, she goes and assists in the fight and is finally unbelievably proud of Neville [and rightly so! See Neville Longbottom] and she's the second older witch to kick mucho ass.

Plus...

"'Little old witch living alone, they probably thought they didn't need to send anyone particularly powerful...Dawlish is still in St. Mungo's and Gran's on the run'" (Neville, 576).
-----

Peeves
...just a few words...

"We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter's the one,
And Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!" (746).
-----

Harry James Potter
...because of the sorcerer's stone, the chamber of secrets, the prisoner of azkaban, the goblet of fire, the order of the phoenix, the half-blood prince and the deathly hallows.

...because without Harry James Potter, we would not have had 10 wonderful years of epic adventure and timeless literature.

"Does it hurt?" (699).
-----
-----

Quote of the Day:
"I just really want to fall in love with an idea again, and go with that." --JK Rowling, on after Harry Potter

New Layout!

2007-07-26T11:54:00.000-05:00

W00t, new layout up and coded in a matter of hours! I am SO good. XP *ahem* anyhow, there's a little bit I have to tweak, but that has to do more with individual posts, I think, so I shall look into that some time later.

My poor voicebox is going to need a loong break after today, because I intend to finish reading the seventh book to my siblings by tonight. That means 759 pages in three days [out loud, it took me a day to read it to myself]. Hrm... They owe me MUCHO!

I think I'm going to go game for a bit or something...

The last layout was up for such a short time, only one month exactly. O.o

Quote of the Day:

"I do not cut my life up into days but my days into lives: each day, each hour, an entire life." --Juan Ramon Jimenez

The Seventh Book

2007-07-23T00:31:00.000-05:00

Wow.

That's all I can really say. I finished the seventh book in the Harry Potter in the late afternoon today and all I can say is...nothing. I am speechless by the intricacy and deeply rooted storyline.

I am reminded of a quote, which I will use as the quote of the day, so that I'm not tempted to quote from the book. I'm MAJORLY anti-spoiler! >.< Okay, for some inexplicable reason, I seem to be the only person on the planet that remembers this quote was ever said, so am unable to find it anywhere on the internet. It will resurface with time, but until then, this is also a good one...

Quote of the Day:

"There is no mistaking a real book when one meets it. It is like falling in love." --Christopher Morley

Memories and Fresh Starts

2007-07-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

I have decided to open up a new something of me. I don't know yet what it is, but all the posts dealing with the old me will be deleted. This isn't a denial or "wipe all evidence" sort of thing, it's just that I'm done with that part of my life and it's time to move on. You can't move on if you're bogged down, so...spring cleaning!

It's actually quite chilly today, but that's probably due to the recent rains.

So anyhow, this blog will be experiencing some revamps, and other such things, including, of course, a new layout! I just can't write non-depressed blogs with a depressy layout for some reason, which is something that's never happened before. Really blows though, because I was so excited about that quote, it's been a favorite of mine for some years now. Argh.

Oh, well. As long as everything's shibby... And I'm hoping very much that it will be.

Quote of the Day:

"The cloud is free only to go with the wind. The rain is free only in falling." --Wendell Berry

Peace and Potter

2007-07-14T20:26:00.000-05:00

So the avatar pretty much says it all. I feel so relieved, even though some things, like acquiring my license and my personal health problem, aren't completely solved, things feel like they're on the way to being "right". =)

I am finding peace.

It is a beautiful thing.

In light of this, perhaps I need a layout change. It will be the shortest lived layout in the history of layouts for Sairah. O.o I don't know how hyper/happy people can have those grungy layouts, it would seem like such a jarring contrast to me.

On my first reading (and several consecutive readings besides)of the sixth Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, I was of the widely supported opinion that Ginny Weasley was portrayed as a "hoe". O_o However, largely after the perusal of an article in The Leaky Cauldron that I'm failing to find at a second search, I find my views have changed. I fully respect Ginny's coolness now, which is cool, because I liked her up until this installment and am happy to not hate her again. =P When you read as much as I do, statements like these do not sound absurd at all, I assure you.

Quote of the Day:

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." --Maria Robinson.

Phones and Funnies

2007-07-02T14:54:00.000-05:00

Kekeke, I got a new phone like, yesterday, I spent all day customizing it. =P I love customizing things! Lol, I'm such a dork. ^^ Cingular-to-Cingular = free! I don't know anyone who has a cingular aside from my parents though. T_T

I was going through some flyff screenshots of mine and damn, some pretty funny things get said. Probably the only reason I've started playing it again. And zomg, yesterday, I actually leveled! -gasps- What?! NO WAY! XD

Hrmm...let me find a funny text screenie and put it here...

A little queerness...

Quote of the Day:

"All mortals tend to turn into the things they are pretending to be." --C.S. Lewis.

Randomnessness

2007-06-27T12:53:00.000-05:00

Am kinda excited just got my music blog started [so there's only one song on it so far, big deal. >.>; Anywho, yea, I like the new design and stuffs. Umm...what else? Nothing really.

I think I will look into acquiring -gasps- BLOG BUDDIES!! O.o I'm not really sure what blog buddies are supposed to do, lol, read each others' blogs periodically? Not much else to do on these things, is there? -shrugs-

Quote of the Day:

"There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy." --Friedrich Nietzsche

Layout Complete

2007-06-27T01:47:00.000-05:00

It's 1:51 in the morning, and I'm finished uploading and coding the new layout! ^__^ Yes, it's a darker theme, and it's that way for a reason.

Let me know what you think of the new look and all that, k? =) I'm rather fond of it. -huggles- Okay, now I need to shut down the comp to keep from waking up the rest of my family and also try to get some sleep myself.

Cheerios!

Quote of the Day:

"Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens." --Nick Diamos

Procrastination = Death!

2007-03-30T19:39:00.000-05:00

There are two more days left for Spring Break and all my homework yet to do. I am going to be royally screwed.

AHHHH!!! What do I do with my time?!! Aside from Photoshop, game, anime, sleep, work, and just, ahhhh!!! I have no time!! >.<

W. T. F.

T_T

Pray for me, people, I need some miracle. A good idea would be to ask God to magically make all my homework done when I wake up tomorrow! Ready- Go!!! ^__^

Kekeke, I should be doing it now, I know, but well... >.>; This is why I suck at life.

Quote of the Day:

"The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure." --Sven Goran Eriksson.

My Comp Hates Me

2007-03-23T22:14:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty sure that's true. I've fixed the photoshop problem, as mentioned before, but as of three days ago, my iPod has decided it does not want to function. At first it froze, so I reset it, and then when I put it on the bloody charger, it decides, that yeaa....it doesn't wanna charge or be picked up by the comp or anything useful at all.

Oh joy.

I'm thinking of running my best friend, system restore. Really hope it works.

Today marks the start of Spring Break.

Tickle PhD Certified tests are amazing, though, I gotta say. For instance, the Brain Test told me that one down-side to my being balance-brained is that I "may sometimes feel paralyzed by indecision when the two hemispheres of [my] brain are competing to solve a problem in their own unique ways" (Tickle PhD Certified Brain Test).

Quote of the Day:

"When you do something, you should be completely involved in it. You should devote yourself to it completely." --Shunryu Suzuki-roshi

Springtime

2007-03-21T17:27:00.000-05:00

Today is the first "official" day of Spring. How perfect for it to be ushered in by a thunderstorm. I love thunderstorms. And the smell of rain, too.

There is something very calming about all that chaos. The chaos of a storm, I mean. It's as if the world is as it should be.

Today was a very good day. =)

Quote of the Day:

"In spring, hundreds of flowers..." --Mu-mon

System Restore <3

2007-03-17T14:53:00.000-05:00

The title pretty much says it all. I'm pretty much in love with System Restore. MY PHOTOSHOP HAS BEEN FIXED!!! XD Watashi System Restore daisuki! That's probably grammatically incorrect. -_-'

Anyhow, yea...I guess some queer software thing that installed itself (?!) on my comp messed it up? Or at least, that's the only plausible reason that I could see, it could simply be summit else, completely unknown to me, but whatever. Alls I care about is that my photoshop isn't malfunctioning anymore.

Even though I gmail-backed up my files beforehand, lol, another awesome thing is that SR didn't restore my files to a previous date- that was uber. =P

Quote of the Day:

"Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you'd bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day." --John Mayer

New Layout!

2007-03-15T20:37:00.000-05:00

As you all I can see I have a new layout! ^__^ Yesh, it's sho exciting! However, as you can also tell, there are still some kinks to work out. In my right shoulder blade and neck, for example. Oh, and in the layout, too. T_T

But I'll get to that later, I'm aching all over since I still don't have a comp desk so working on the comp while it's on the floor is not ideal in the least. Yosh! As a reward for my hard work, I shall go watch some Bleach! XD <33 I still have homework to do. >.>;; Argh! Why can't I find my assignment notebook?! And Double Argh, I keep forgetting my glasses by the comp!! >.<

Quote of the Day:

"Serenity is the final word of all teachings." --Hung Chih

Weariness

2007-03-13T21:55:00.000-05:00

It's kind of depressing. The weather's gorgeous, I may start to get control of my homework again, life is mostly good, things are going fine- and I'm feeling sad. Honestly, I mean, the heck's wrong with me, anyhow? >< Just, blah.

I mean, more and more, I've been distancing myself from most of my friends. No reason, really, or so it feels to me. Yet somedays I just feel so alone and sad, I don't know why. And other days, I just get so tired of being around people. I feel weary of them. That's the word I'm looking for- weary. It's pretty unlike me.

The weather is just absolutely gorgeous and I love it to death. This is my absolute favoritest time of year. At the same time, however, it inevitably plunges me back to another time. I can't even describe what effect this kind of weather has on me. Inwardly, there's just something so powerful in me that I tie to springtime.

Quote of the Day:

"Even loneliness is full of life." --From ChillOut Volume II, "Loneliness"

Ugh, AP's Suck Mucho

2007-03-07T16:35:00.000-06:00

Ugh, I really hate being absent from school. Being in AP classes really makes it a chore to be reckoned with when you come back and you get a stack of all the stuff you're expected to know. AP World History's the worst as far as that goes.

I should hire someone to do my homework for me, lolz. XD

And zomg, I <3 Anime so much! Bleach rocks my socks off! Kekeke, li'l inside joke here, but Ishida-kun in a tent, ftw!!

Quote of the Day:

"That's pretty interesting, not like the living world. Apparently, on this side, 'ultimate master' means a windbag with diarrhea of the mouth." --Ishida Uryuu, from Bleach: Episode 29

Books and French IV

2007-02-27T21:19:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I finished reading The Kite Runner and I was completely blown away by it. I remember having seen it in the library countless times and passing it up because it looked like it wouldn't be interesting. If I was ever proven to have misjudged a cover, this was the time. I started reading it almost halfheartedly after my librarian suggested it to me. I'm very glad she did.

Two papers to write that have nothing to do with me, one to write for AP Sem. Seven papers to peer-edit. All are due by Thursday. Radical plan of the day: Drop French VI, take study hall fourth, AP Art fifth. Really hope it works out.

FAFSA = Death.

Quote of the Day:

"For you a thousand times over." --Hassan, from Khaled Hosseini's, The Kite Runner

Ideas Impromptu

2007-02-23T16:13:00.000-06:00

I think it has to do a good deal with Creative Writing class, but there are lots of impromptu ideas banging around my head. They also probably have to do with the fact that I finished reading Libba Bray's second novel [the sequel to A Great And Terrible Beauty], Rebel Angels. It was an exceptional read, as expected. Very satisfying with a MAJOR TWIST ENDING!! ^__^ I love twist endings. =)

Such ramblings. But anyhow, yea...I'm almost all caught up with the tests I have to take except for Stats, which I probably can't take anymore. But for once, it honestly wasn't my fault. So I don't feel too badly about it, but I expect that will change when I get my grades, lol.

Figures I'm the first one who ends up cleaning the new bathroom. Of course, no one could have seen that one coming. -_-'

"Something in you falls away..." --Mrs. Nightwing, from Libba Bray's Rebel Angels

Snow Day II?

2007-02-14T07:38:00.000-06:00

ARGH! I wish my school would actually update things like emergencyclosings.com or whatever that site was called! >.< I don't know if we have a snow day today or not and I don't want to go because it's cold and I'm tired and I just moved and am still somewhat confused about my stop and a whole bunch of things! >.< !

Trust Fenton to make this complicated. >.>;

And oh, yea, Happy Valentine's Day. =)

Quote of the Day:

"Love is a serious mental disease." --Plato

Impromptu Break

2007-02-09T12:23:00.000-06:00

I've only been to school once this week, because I've been sick. Well, today was a combination of both being sick and not feeling like going just because.

In this time, I've managed to umm...read some Crime and Punishment, do some packing for the move, and work on my sites. And that's about all. I'm really tired of school, and I'd rather be working my dream job right now. I really really hate school.

Additionally, I have other crap to worry about which no normal 18 year old girl ever has to think about. >.< I hate this very very much. Je le deteste beaucoup.

Quote of the Day:

"We are here, and it is now." --H.L. Mencken

Early Farewell

2007-01-31T15:45:00.000-06:00

As of yesterday, I am no longer a member of the National Honor Society. My GPA is a 3.488 as compared to the required 3.5. Well, I won't say it wasn't something like a slap in the face... It's not too bad, really, though, since it wasn't as if we did much. But there are a few things that upset me.

First of all, I was kicked out almost right after I handed in the bloody cookie dough stuff. "Double-yuu. Tee. Eff." is all I can say about that.

Secondly, I get kicked out just a few months before graduation. Nice one. Along with that, I work my butt off working for this thing when nothing happens except during senior year and that's when they decide that nope, I really do suck, afterall. /rolls eyes Go figure. And when I worked, I actually cared about it, I wasn't just doing it as a requirement.

Lastly...there really were some things I'd been looking forward to for about four years that now I can't have or do. =/ Ah, well...suppose that's the way of things. This will seem cocky, but I can't say I ever thought I'd get booted. O.o Just goes to show, eh?

Quote of the Day:

"Few of us ever live in the present moment. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone." --Louis L'Armor

Crêpe-y Goodness

2007-01-25T19:10:00.000-06:00

Ooh, yum yum crêpes! ^__^ I actually like making them. Eating them is even better though. =P French Food day tomorrow, w00tw00t! The picture takes you to the site I got it from, but that's not the recipe I use. Still, they look delicious in that pic. =P

Bleh, gotta finish up Part II of Crime and Punishment. O.o This book is very redundant. -_-'

I <3 Creative Writing Class. ^__^ Umm...what else? Oh, yea, went off what I read of Japan from the packet, the Russia movies, and completely bsed the China part and managed to pull an 86% on that test for AP World. More w00tness!! =P Yea, winging it will really screw me over one day. >.>

Quote of the Day:

"Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed." --Corita Kent

History of a Home

2007-01-18T18:37:00.000-06:00

I saw the inside of what is soon going to be our new home today. It was smaller than ours at the moment, I believe, or at least, seems so, but has a nice, ginormous yard. =) But for some reason, I could not seem to shake off a melancholy air.

It was clear to me, from the thirty years the previous residents were living there, that...that home had history. There was a shelf they put in by the back door because the window offered a copious amount of sunlight. The fireplace in the basement. The hose that lead to the garden. The little ingenious bar over the right garage door. Little things. They tell stories.

My own house is steeped in the years when we literally remade it from its roots. All the toil, the little odd jobs, the color schemes, the nooks and crannies...they all come together to create a whole. It brought home more than ever that it would all go away.

And it felt somehow strange for me to see these people leave where we would come in. They were clearly the type of people that got things done. I guess you might call them "handymen" but anyhow. My parents are the complete opposite, to a point. They're the type of people that sit around with the rain falling through the hole in the roof for a few days, until one day, they decide they'll go ahead and fix it, just randomly, after a week or so of stepping around the problem.

It just seems off.

I've had the blessed opportunity to have a little bit of Liquid Wish in my possession before now, and I remember how my prayers were different then. Some, the same, of course, but my chief wishes this time around centered around things I felt could drastically tear everything.

Along with this, it seemed, this day was proving to me more and more the correctness of my choice. Which is unique since that is what I'd wished for. Also surprising, since I would have thought "right" by virtue of the one action, was the opposite of my decisions, but maybe not...

We shall see, and I shall continue to keep my hopes up. It's extremely difficult to keep from being overwhelmed with guilt, however. ='(

Quote of the Day:

"But what are sighs and what is sadness to the heart that's coming home?" --Enya, "Long Long Journey"

Food For Thought

2007-01-17T22:47:00.000-06:00

I have quite a bit on my plate these days. Aside from the mental stress I'm dealing with every day, there's the other stuff.

I have to file FAFSA for the 2007-2008 academic year. I have two Honors essays to write for Purdue. I have scholarships to watch for (and most likely write separate essays for). I have homework. I have bills. I have to worry bout Purdue mail coming home and not to me. I just have a lot to organize.

It's rough going, I'm hoping it'll be worth it in the end. I think I won't do my stats hw today again. -_-' Umm...what else? I never do French, so that's nothing new. So, yea. Lots of stuff. >.>

Well, I guess I better get back to doing other pointless things. To my credit, I can't do FAFSA yet since I have to consult some people for information on that. ^^

Quote of the Day:

"It doesn't matter what did or did not happen then. It only matters what happens NOW." --Cheri Huber

Legally Unchanged

2007-01-13T18:50:00.000-06:00

It's my 18th birthday today! ^__^ -sings "Happy Birthday to Me"-

Not much [if anything] has changed, except maybe my resolve. I woke up on the couch this morning, where I'd gone to sleep last night. I played some flyff, watched Ranma, and worked in the kitchen. Then I cleaned out a bit of my closet.

Since then, I've been half done with my closet and am talking to a good [OBSIDIAN] friend of mine, Casey. Good times. Ah, we're crazy, and I like it like that, lol. XD Nerdgasms, ftw!!!!

XDD

Kk, don't let that disturb you too much now. *ahem*, anywho, other than that, not much has happened. My life is boring, as per usual.

Oh, this just in, pee is a conductor, so don't pee on a telephone pole, because you'll get electrocuted!! Yea, wouldn't that be embarrassing as hell? XD Talk about being caught in the act! =P

Quote of the Day:

"It is not length of life, but depth of life." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Surprises, Surprises

2007-01-12T23:20:00.000-06:00

Wow.

People can really surprise you. And in the process, you can really surprise yourself, as well. Somethings you never knew, never felt, and just a lot of stuff. Very descriptive, I know. >.>;;

People are a lot stronger than they look sometimes, and remember: you absolutely never know what's going on inside someone's head just by knowing them. Very enlightening. Life is a queero. >.<

Quote of the Day:

"If you are waiting for anything in order to live and love without holding back, then you suffer." --David Deida

Good Days

2007-01-10T21:18:00.000-06:00

Finally! I've been really wanting to write a non-emo-sounding entry. =D My days are starting to look up. Maybe because I've put off the worrying. School seems to be going by well, so I'm excited.

I feel like it's a fresh start for some reason, even though it's only second semester. It somehow feels like a new year has begun. I mean, school year, since a new calendar year has obviously started. Ionno, it's weird, but makes for a lovely change. What else?

My AP Seminar class is awesome, I love Creative Writing, my AP Art is wonderful, AP French IV is hilarious, AP Stats is its usual crazy class, I'm back to student leading, which I'd started to seriously miss, AP World is edumatational as always- yea, I'm kinda just really enjoying life so far. =) Yay for brighter outlooks!! ^__^

Quote of the Day:

"Life, we learn too late, is in the living...of every day and hour." --Stephen Leacock

Peace, maybe?

2007-01-02T18:42:00.000-06:00

I feel as if I've made my decision and it's surprised even me. But since deciding, I've felt something like a sense of calm stealing over me. I could really do with more of those. =)

She's going to be disappointed, probably thinking I wasn't strong enough. But I can't live anyone else's life anymore, not even hers. I want freedom, and independence, but not hermitage from certain people. This way seems to work for me, maybe. I guess we'll see.

I'm not sure how much to tell the parents. -_-' But I feel heaven's enough for me, should I be granted the honor.

This picture's an original work of mine. The photo's of this cage I saw in Value City Furniture, and that's my hand opening the door. Then I went and photoshopped it into a surreal effect. Digital Love <3! =D

I hate homework.

Almost done with my 7th journal, w00t! ^__^ Wonder if my short story got into Kaleidoscope or not...ahh, gotta mail Escobedo bout that and tell him it does, in fact, have a title! >.<

Quote of the Day:

"If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else." --Marvin Gaye

Bad Routers

2006-12-30T09:56:00.000-06:00

I know technology isn't infallible, but c'mon!! I bought this bloody router 2 months ago! It had no call to go retarded on me- none whatsoever. So because of this router, I wasn't able to make any of the numerous updates I have, to my site, and still am not since duh, no intronet on my comp.

Ugh, I did manage to update Amaranth of Anime, though, because flash drives are a Godsend. ^__^ Been doing a lot of Ranma/DNAngel/DaCapo/Other anime? watching lately. Yea, dont' have time to do blogs along the entire way. Ahem, as it were...bleh.

I have two essays left to write for the Purdue Honors Program. Also, still have to do AP Stats hw [How cruel to give a Packet of Love over break!] and some AP World, as well, but I don't mind the latter since it's Japanese History, and I always find that interesting. Well, most of the stuff we get in AP World is interesting, so no matter.

Life was a lot easier when we were younger, but I guess if we don't grow as people, we don't see things in a new light, and complications arise from different viewpoints. Which means that in the end, a difficult life can be a good thing. Meh, in the least, it makes for interesting stories to tell. =D

I might get my nose repierced today! I can't believe it's been two years since I had my nose pierce. T_T I miss it!! This lady better do it right or I will have a fit, I tell you, A FIT!!

This entry is very exclamatory. o_o

Quote of the Day:

"I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about." --Oscar Wilde

Break = So Close!

2006-12-21T14:48:00.000-06:00

Hrmm...finals are going mostly well, I guess except for some aspects LIKE THE KILLER HAHAYOUFAILATLIFE ENGLISH FINAL. -ahem- As I was saying, not bad. =P

Life is going...okay, I guess. Break's almost here! Waah, I need money for college! T_T Umm...yea. So anyhow...that's about it, I guess.

I miss my sister. ='( I wanna visit her. Or vice versa. Or like, I kinda wish my parents would get their heads outta their- err, ignorant bubbles. >.>;;

/sigh

I will make up for all lost time during break as far as doing nothing productive goes. >:D

Quote of the Day:

"It matters not what a person is born, but who they choose to be." --JK Rowling

Need A Breather

2006-12-19T18:22:00.000-06:00

Yea, I could definitely use a breather. I've got so much to worry about and think about right now. AHHH!! My brain is going to implode!! T_T Semester finals are coming up, uh, that ridiculous essay is due before 7 tomorrow, and >.<

>.< !!!!!!!!

I wish homework were a person so I could punch him in the face. >.<

Quote of the Day:

"I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I'm living..." --Hayley Westenra, "I Dreamed A Dream"

Weird Moods

2006-12-11T21:28:00.000-06:00

I've been overcome by a series of diverse, if interrelated moods today. o_o I don't know exactly why that is, but it is. I feel moved to write about them, not necessarily here, either.

I'm writing [am halfway done?] with a short story that is one creative outlet for said emotions. As I was typing out the previous sentence, I got a jolt of déjà vu. Go figure. Anyhow, the short story is quite complex, exploring such themes as peace, life's façade, and "the reducto absurdum of all human experience" (Faulkner).

It's difficult to write if I'm not in just the right mindset, which I was for the past half hour and I think it's waning away, maybe? Anyhow, it started off originally as something else and evolved into something different. Which is generally the pattern of evolution. >.>;;

I realize this entry doesn't make much sense to anyone but me.

Quote of the Day:

"The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something." --Chauncey Depew

Quitters

2006-12-09T20:31:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking an awful lot about death lately- more so than usual, anyhow. It scares me sometimes, thinking about it and about all that it entails. Today, though, I want to expand more on the concept of suicide.

Hemingway committed suicide- most of his family did, too. I know someone who was very affected by someone who committed suicide, and I've also had a friend who nearly committed it before I managed to talk him out of it. How do people think on it and decide it so easily?

It is an innocuous enough thought to think, I suppose, and wonder what the world may be like if you had never been. It's normal too, I'd think, to hope you weren't sometimes, because everyone can do with a bit of breathing room every now and then- even from themselves. It's another thing entirely, to relish the thought and think everything would be fine if it were so.

Hemingway, he thought his dad a coward for offing himself as he did. But when time came, it was like father and son. Some people, when they choose to end their lives, feel they've won- they've got one up on life. O.o Yea, don't ask me how that works out- I couldn't tell ya.

I guess it's probably like that one quote: "Suicide is a man's way of saying 'You can't fire me, God, I quit!'" (Anonymous).

Honestly, though, in my opinion, you're a failure. If you really think that the world is better off without you, or that you're winning somehow this way, then you're a loser. And perhaps by the very nature of this fact, the world will be better off. Less losers to crowd it up, you know?

What's the big deal with dying? Who cares? Everyone dies. So what? Big deal. Anyone can do that- and everyone will. The real challenge (cliché as it sounds) is in living.

We are all born with two sure things, and both are thrust upon us: Life and Death. The only things we choose for our very own selves are what we put in between those ambiguous yet indelible truths. This, in its purest form, is what makes us who we are. Our choices. Our beliefs. And, invariably, our reactions to the Life that happens to us.

I'm getting (or have already ascended) my soapbox here, but whatever. How can speeding up a natural process make you come out on top? Maybe you're going to die when you're 60. How does accomplishing the feat by hand at 16 make you better? What truly would better you would be to have lived out those 60 years and learned from every experience and maybe someday, passed that knowledge on.

I don't know. I always feel it's a world wasted anytime someone kills themselves. And in the end, to add insult to injury, not only is it the loser's way out, what a selfish way to go if in the end you must. Cutting your own life short so that the people you've left behind can waste years and tears crying over your sorry ass.

I think Gandalf said it best...

Quote of the Day:

"Authority is not given you...to order the hour of your death." --Gandalf, from The Lord of the Rings: The Return Of The King

Do's and Don't's

2006-12-08T21:46:00.000-06:00

On my last entry, tiffer made what I'd consider a pretty "preachy" comment. Nothing wrong with preachiness, I expect, but there are a few things I expect from people when they visit my blog. Err, not really expectations, but certain do's and don't's.

One thing you must know about me is that I am a devout Muslim and whole-heartedly believe in my religion. Really. I am not forced into it, I have not been brainwashed, I am not just believing it because my parents are of the faith. I really, truly do believe in my religion (Islam).

Do's:

DO comment on blogs if you have something to say.
DO start discussions and debates.
DO disagree with me in a civil manner if our views don't match
DO give me constructive criticism on just about everything.
DO enjoy reading my random ramblings and whatnot.

Don't's:

DON'T spam my comments with useless spammy stuffs >.<
DON'T tell me I'm wrong without backing up what you have to say - I'll just think you're an idiot.
DON'T expect me to comment back to YOUR blog, just because you left a "Hi" comment on mine.

BUT ABOVE ALL, please, please, please DO NOT ask me to bring Jesus into my life!

Religions are very sensitive matters. Everyone believes in something [even if that belief is a lack thereof]. Christians belief certain things that are completely blasphemous to Muslims. Case in point: Jesus = God's son? Not in my book!! I will never believe this no matter what you say, so for the love of God and all that is Holy, don't waste both our times with biblical quotations, verses, and that general index.

If you disagree with something or as in tiffer's case, confirm something religiously, a simple statement like "From my experience" or "according to my religious beliefs" will nicely solve the problem. Really. Try it.

Tiffer, I sincerely do appreciate your comment, but I just thought I'd throw this out there to everyone that honestly, I'm very happy with my religion, so... ^__^

Much of my blog is entry upon entry of my observations. Observations on humans, life, death, strife, victory, honor, sin, lust, love, cowardice, revenge, abuse, despair, beauty, endings, beginnings and everything in between.

If you still feel up to it, then enjoy the ride. =) I like to write ^^

Quote of the Day:

"People only see what they are prepared to see." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Disappointments

2006-12-05T20:14:00.000-06:00

Despite my hardest efforts, Life constantly seems to be wanting to rear its ugly head. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal or anything crazy like that. It's just... /sigh

Well, I always want to believe the best of people and believe in the goodness of everything. But lately, everyone and everything [almost] seems to be letting me down in that category.

People, for example. People are good. Or so I'd like to believe, but I've had the unfortunate luck of coming to "know" some of the worst people and most horribly twisted characters I could ever have imagined. In fact, even my imagination could never have cooked up anything as disgusting as what real life has shown me as far as ugly people go.

After years and years of this, I'm wondering how much longer I can look to the light. =/

Quote of the Day:

"Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you." --Yassir Arafat

Farewell Xanga

2006-12-03T13:58:00.000-06:00

So, after many years [at least two or three, >.>] I decided to delete my xanga today, due to lack of use. I really haven't been using it much. It's layout is hard to navigate, anyways. Or at least, it used to be, I dunno, they've made plenty of changes to it since last I was there.

It was kinda weird, seeing as how I used to post to it daily and stuff. Guess it may've been sort of a nostalgic moment or something. =/ Ah, well, stuff happens.

Quote of the Day:

"The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present." --Barbara De Angelis

Snow Day

2006-12-01T12:52:00.000-06:00

As I've been sick for two weeks and counting now, it was an especial relief to me when my little sister ran into my room at six in the morning and yelled, "Sairah!! The school just called, it got canceled! We have no school today!!"

Usually when I get sick [which is rare enough in itself], it only lasts a few days and then I'm good. This time, however, it's been quite a bit too long. For some reason, senior year has seen a decided plunge in my medical history. O.o What's up with that? >.<

Well, Inshallah, I'll get better and all, so, yea...at least there's no school ^^.

Quote of the Day:

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." --Harriet Tubman